The Truth Sets Free

This blog post will be like nothing I’ve posted before. Many of you will have different opinions, positive and negative ones. Know that this post is not about the innermost parts of me (Victoria) or what I've been doing, but the core of who God is and what He has been doing! 

 

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

                                   2 Corinthians 12:9

  

For a couple of weeks now the Lord has been challenging me to speak the truth and to see freedom brought to this earth. This post has been very hard to share and it may be longer than normal, but I pray freedom and encouragement for all who read it. 

 

 Most of you know that in December of 2014, one of my all time favorite people in the world got to go home to be with our Daddy. Losing Angie was one of the hardest things I've experienced in my life. I didn't know how to deal with the pain, so I hid here in Mexico- where no one knew her and nothing reminded me of her. My heart became closed off in the most intimate way from the people I loved and even Jesus Himself. I had times when I absolutely broke, and when it came to the people who knew Angie, I couldn’t speak with them about her.

 In April I got married!! It was a very perfect moment where I felt heaven touching earth. God was so glorious in our wedding and it's a moment I will never feel again here on this earth, but forever treasure in my heart. As time being married went on, different parts of myself started showing in my life. Like closing my heart. There was so much anger in my heart that I took a lot of it out on my sweet husband. Anger then took a turn to depression. Drastic things began to happen in my family's lives and I wasn’t able to experience most things with them. My family packed up and moved to California, Gabby (my youngest sister) moved in with my dad, and my aunt (who is like another mom) got married and then pregnant with her first baby.

 I didn't know how to deal with all the emotions going on in my heart. I felt like I had lost sight of Gods purpose for my life and all He wanted to do in me. I was so angry with Jesus for taking Angie that I never turned to Him through all this pain. My husband was the only one who knew about the pain I was struggling with and I begged him not to tell anyone. I thought I could figure it out alone. Multiple times over months of feeling this pain I wanted to take some sort of pill. Whether it was a few or a lot, I just wanted to get rid of the pain. I share my truth with you, because I know I am not the only one who has, is, or will struggle with this pain. I want to shine light into this situation in hopes to encourage you. You are not alone. “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

 After about 8 months pushing Jesus further and further, He spoke. He told me I couldn't continue to fight this battle alone anymore. That I couldn't do this on my own. I had buried so much pride in my soul to protect myself that I didn't want to let go of it. I came to the point where what I was feeling wasn't reality and I thought I was going crazy. I told myself that I'm a missionary and I'm not allowed to struggle like this. That's not true! It is a lie from the enemy not wanting you to reach your full potential in Christ. It took a lot of work inside of me to get to this point today. I shared my struggles with my leaders and stepped down from leading DTS as well as other ministry involvements. I needed time alone with Jesus to fill me again and remind me who I am. I felt like in ministry I was giving who I am and not who God is! So I walked away from my comfort zone. 

 It has been about a month and half since Rodrigo and I really let the Lord minister to us in what He wants to do. We've been going to a therapist and I have been walking through inner healing. Some days are not the easiest, but I feel like I'm learning to walk all over again. I have given my days and time to Jesus to remind me who He says I am. God has been sweet and gentle with me through this process, but has also been speaking and moving big time. Rodrigo and I were both very challenged by the Lord when he spoke to us about starting new things and not returning to YWAM as staff. I think that decision may have been the hardest. Many tears were shed as we tried to fight Jesus because of fear of something new, but we took the leap of faith. Now we are in the process of starting something new, but in baby steps. Like this blog. It was my first challenge to our new beginning. 

 

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

                                      John 8:32

 

 I pray my truth helps bring light to someone else's fears or pains. Know that  you are not. That it is normal to feel. I will continue to keep you all updatedon what's next in our lives. Thank you for the love and patience. 

 

Finding Rest

To all of our family, friends, and other readers,

 

Once again we must apologize for posting a late blog but I wanted to finish writing to all of you about 2015. I know this past year has already come to an end, but yet, God moved in that time.

 

I feel every month we write to you that the base is going through something different, a new season. Here with us things change very quickly. We have our ups and downs as well. Right now we just went through a season of learning to rest.

 

I know you may think, well it's Christmas time...everyone has rest time. Not here, because there are still men and women on the street needing love.  Our ministry continues during this time of year helping the sex trafficked and street children.  The street people really needed our help and support during this season.  It is a particularly hard time for them since the loss of their families and lives is so vivid during this family time.

 

We asked for a week off during Christmas and had the joy of spending some time with my family

in Guajuanto. It was a bit strange for me not going to Texas for Christmas or going to California where my parents and siblings have moved to now. To tell you the truth, it was hard spending

Christmas away from my family as I am used to. This Christmas was still new though because for the first time ever I got to spend it with MY HUSBAND.

 

That first Christmas together will never be replaced! I was able to learn more of the culture I am living in today. 

 

For the American readers, Christmas in Mexico is celebrated on Christmas Eve. There is no Christmas tree that everyone runs down to on Christmas morning. Instead, they celebrate The Three Wise Men who come January 6th. In all of this strangeness, the Lord was still God. As most parents teach their kids it's not about the gifts, it's about who you are with. That was very true for me this year. 

 

Although my expectations were different, the Lord taught me more of who He is and the love He has for His people. That was the gift I was able to share in a new environment.

 

When we returned back to the base, our leaders spoke to us on how this year the Lord hasspoken over everyone to take time to rest. We enjoyed a week and a half off. Everyone. Which had never been done before. During this time we were able to find again God's purpose for our lives as individuals and as a base. We took time to reenergize and to connect again with our families.  Now we are ready to again dive into God’s purpose for us in Mexico.

 

 January will kick us off in helping to lead a DTS Discipleship Training School that starts this Monday January 18th!  Rodrigo and I am excited and nervous as we have never done this together as a couple. Please join us in praying for our students and for our marriage. If you could please prayerfully consider joining our journey and financially supporting us, we would greatly appreciate it! God is always faithful and He loves to use YOU to bless His Kingdom. To this day we are still struggling with finances and support and having monthly supporters. If it means skipping a Starbucks run which could enable you to send us $10 dollars a month, you'd be surprised how far that would get us. Thank you for reading about our life on the mission field! We love you all and the invitation still stands to all who want to visit us, you have a home here with us!! God bless.